Music of the Candidates -- Kasich Style!

I frankly don't know what to make of John Kasich.

The Ohio governor dithered around for far too long before deciding that yes, he in fact would like to run for president! And now he wants to whine that nobody is taking him seriously. Well, Johnny, that ship has pretty much sailed! Too bad you were delinquently slow on the trigger. You're thinking you're going to be a spoiler? Why? If we want a spoiler, we can come up with tens of names we'd pick to spoil before we'd ever get to yours! I have no doubt that you've done a good job in your home state, but frankly, you're kind of Hillary-lite -- no offense. And you're creepily happy. Do we really want a happy guy as president? A guy who thinks every heavy black cloud is just waiting for the sun to poke through? ISIS loves guys like you -- in fact, they'd like nothing more than to train their gun sites at your happy, goofy noggin.

Somebody somewhere, somebody way more clever than me, described you as a "groovy youth minister". Perfect.

To whit, I have developed your essential songlist. Please enjoy it while you're beating the stumps in Pennsylvania or...some other state in the vicinity of Pennsylvania, and crossing your fingers and perhaps your eyes in the delusional fantasy that the GOP delegates are going to pick you, after all, to carry the torch of the man you cite endlessly, Ronald Reagan. No doubt hoping that a little bit of The Gipper's DNA perhaps touched your sleeve once, and you are therefore be-gold knighted.

 Okay, granted, Kasich has so far garnered the best songs (give or take). But that's no excuse. No excuse for him staying in the race. I'll admit, Ted Cruz's songs are going to be a struggle for me, but man is not defined only by 1960's classics and seventies schlock.

And he's too damned happy. What does he have to be happy about? Buck up, man! And throw your delegates (such as they are) to Cruz! Lord knows, he needs every delegate tick he can get to beat...well, you know who.

And I'm not throwing in The Turtles, because Kasich's incessant happiness is making me queasy. 

Be grateful, though, John,  that I at least gave you some Summer of Love cred.

And now we return you to the hugging.