Sometimes, during the boring parts of Fox's Special Report, my mind wanders to silly hypothetical scenarios. Today's isn't entirely unjustified. My premise is, I like a lot of the Republican candidates, just not necessarily for president. So, what if the eventual winner was forced to choose fellow candidates to fill his cabinet posts? (First of all, I pity the fool, but that's beside the point.) And yes, I had to look up a lot of these departments, because I don't have Ted Cruz's steel-trap mind.
A caution: This lineup is subject to change. Once the president-elect sits down to confer with me, I'm sure he and I will sort if all out.
PRESIDENT: Marco Rubio
VICE PRESIDENT: Carly Fiorina (Can't wait for her to debate Vice Presidential candidate Bernie "Curb Your Enthusiasm" Sanders.)
SECRETARY OF STATE: Jeb Bush (see explanation below.)
SECRETARY OF DEFENSE: Lindsey Graham (This is a no-brainer.)
ATTORNEY GENERAL: Chris Christie (further expounding below).
INTERIOR SECRETARY: Mike Hukabee (He's a gentle man. I think he would like trees.)
AGRICULTURE SECRETARY: I'm going to go with Rick Perry, even though he's dropped out. Texas grows things, especially jobs - ha ha - but seriously, they have cotton and pecans and winter wheat and basically-you-name-it.
COMMERCE SECRETARY: Donald Trump
LABOR SECRETARY: Rick Santorum (I'm a little iffy on this because of his minimum wage stance, but he does like the working class man, and so few politicians actually do.)
HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES SECRETARY: Doctor Ben Carson
HOUSING AND URBAN DEVELOPMENT SECRETARY: Scott Walker; yes, another dropout. He could do a lot of things, but there isn't a post called SWATTING AWAY PESKY SIGN HOLDERS.
TRANSPORTATION SECRETARY: George Pataki, because I have to give him a job, and this will keep him busy peering at charts and maps).
ENERGY SECRETARY: John Kasich (He's a little wonky and a tad high-strung. Probably a good combination for getting the energy industry re-booming.)
EDUCATION SECRETARY: Rand Paul, because he seems smart; just wrong-headed on most stuff.
VETERANS AFFAIRS SECRETARY: Bobby Jindahl, another drop-out, but a whip-smart guy. Jindahl could handle any post, but I had to slot him in somewhere.
HOMELAND SECURITY SECRETARY: Ted Cruz
As you can see, I thought this through for well over six minutes. Unfortunately, some of these guys don't fit neatly into slots. And the cabinet meetings will be a free-for-all, once Donald engages his mouth and starts telling people they're fired, willy-nilly. President Rubio will have his hands full keeping all these people in line.
My husband tells me Ted Cruz would make a good attorney general, but my money is on Chris Christie, because he'll stare people straight in the face and tell them they're imbeciles, whereas Ted Cruz will just snooze them to death with his "lectures".
I'm thinking Jeb Bush would be a far superior Secretary of State than John Kerry (or, gasp! HRC!) because he'd lull all the heads of state into compliance with his meandering, stuttering pronouncements.
Ben Carson can expose Obamacare for the fraud that it is, and, in his quiet way, cajole even dunderheads that a better way lies just over the horizon.
Obviously, this is all hypothetical. Except for President Marco Rubio. If I had a dollar to spare, I'd surely send it to his campaign. I'm not an ageist. I fully understand that the second generation, or Generation X, is prepared to rule the world. Heck, my sons are X'ers, and they're pretty smart. Baby boomers, give up the ghost! It's time to peel your gnarly fingers off the tether and let someone younger, with far more brain cells, take care of things.
Just think of Marco as your son. Life trundles on. We've ruled a long time and look at the mess we've made of things. It's high time to pass the torch.
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