It might just be me.
It could be me, but I don't actually think so. Has anyone else noticed how sucky Fox News has become?
Unlike liberals, who have options, people like me have to endure the only game in town; and the bastards at Fox know it. They're taking us for granted. They're bombarding us with craptastic news anchors whom they apparently scooped up off the street; because, you know, conservatives, well, they'll eat up anything that doesn't shill for The Clintons.
I've stomached the latest blonde blasts while pressing my finger on the "channel up" button and surfing over to -- gasp! -- CNN, simply to avoid the mosquito bite that is the vacuous bimbo newsreader.
Here's a tip, Fox. People like me want to watch someone authoritative. I'm not a feminism-denier. I just want to watch a person who's substantive.
The worst of the worst is Outnumbered, with the women with long legs protruding from their short skirts, trying to tell me what's what. I do like Melissa Frances, because she seems to possess some brain cells, but the rest of them? They're just squawkers.
I, unlike some of the more gentrified conservative overseers, actually work for a living. However, I do have the option of plugging in my earbuds at work and monitoring the Fox broadcast. Once John Scott and Jenna Lee have signed off, I'm encumbered with the ultimate lightweight, Gretchen Carlson, who I'm assuming, got hired because she once wore a beauty pageant crown. Poor Gretchen doesn't seem to know a lot of words. She cringingly mispronounces common terms with regularity. She has a segment where she gives "her word" or whatever it's called. Inane. An insult to Minnesotans' (her home state's and my) intelligence.
And don't even get me started on Shep Smith.
The primetime lineup is negligibly better. I like The Five - don't ask my why, but I do. The Five is probably my favorite show on Fox. Maybe I just like smart people. Kimberly Guilfoyle is a star. Greg Gutfeld is more serious than he wants us to think. Sure, Eric Bolling is a dolt and Juan Williams is a hack. I miss Bob Beckel. I actually paid for Dana's book and that was money not well spent. I, not to brag, wrote a much better autobiography, except, unlike Dana's, nobody actually read it.
Bret Baier is solid. I don't give a damn what anyone else thinks. He does his job and he does it just right. Charles Krauthammer is a treasure. I wish, however, that Bret would expand his panel; throw in a few new voices. And please, more Jonah Goldberg!
What can one say about Bill O'Reilly that he hasn't already said himself? I was always curious to read one of "his" books, and my husband bought me "Killing Reagan" for Christmas. The book was great. I was prepared to hate it. I'm no fool. I completely understand that Martin Dugard wrote the book. And I completely understand that it would have gone nowhere without O'Reilly's imprint on it.
O'Reilly's show is a schtick that's lost its luster over the hundred-odd years it's been on the air. Too much Dennis Miller (who's actually not funny); too much fake offense. It is what it is.
I would definitely watch Megyn Kelly's show if I didn't have to go to bed at eight o'clock. She's the future of Fox. Sharp, opinionated, passionate.
Hannity? Well, he's a low-hanging fruit. I hear him on the radio -- not one iota of deep thought or contemplation. But I suppose he serves his purpose. Just not mine.
But here's what bugs me the most: weekends. Okay, let's skim some hobo off the street and plop her in front of a microphone. Nobody cares! Nobody's watching. Well, I am -- for as long as I can stand it. And, for God's sake, give me more of that silver-maned property mogul who lulls me into my long weekend nap! He's negligibly worse than Carol Alt!
So, here's my tip: Wise Up, Fox! You are soooo lucky that nobody's crafted a new conservative network. You've got some stars, but you've got a ton of duds.
Do something about that.
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